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My Partner Wants Me to Be But I Cannot

Man holding forehead with hand and woman looking at him with a serious expressions. Both are sitting down with blurry trees in background.

Do you regularly feel disappointed by other people not living up to your expectations?

What we as humans sometimes fail to remember or realize is that some of our own disappointment stems from setting unrealistic expectations of our partner. First off, let's start with a clear understanding that your significant other will never be able to meet all of your needs.

Let’s use an example of one parent who works outside of the home, and the other parent who works inside the home. Oftentimes, when one parent stays home with their children it is assumed that once the spouse arrives home from work that they are fair game to meet all of your needs. Instead, your partner returns home partially depleted, and does not do the things you want or expect from them. Likewise, the designated homemaker is potentially exhausted from trying to meet several people's needs all day long.

In this situation, communication is key. It’s important to be open and share what each person needs to feel loved, heard, and respected.

Additionally, I want to encourage you to do something for yourself that makes you happy. Separate time away is often needed to recharge, and that looks different for everyone. Go golfing or running, grab a cup of coffee, journal, or read a book for your own mental well being.

Hanging out with friends is another great option to recharge your batteries. Both partners need outside friends and other people to connect with. It is too great of a pressure on the marital relationship, for one party to be totally dependent on another.

I’ll leave you with a poem that somebody wrote and I quote:

“Life can't give me joy and peace, it's up to me to will it.

Life just gives me time and space, it's up to me to fill it.”

Book a Coaching appointment with me to help you discover joy from within and helpful boundaries. Click here to schedule.

A close up of Laura smiling. She is wearing a burgundy colored shirt and dangling earrings.

Our team at Wise Choice Family & Educational Solutions is passionately committed to helping families and individuals go beyond surviving to being free to enjoy life and realize their potential. We're here to help you schedule an appointment today.

- Laura Rosal, MA Qualified Mental Health Professional & Mediator

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