Can you imagine being too kind for your own good?
It is thought that those who are known for being super kind and compassionate can suffer from high levels of anxiety and depression at the expense of caring too much for someone else.
So how can you better care for yourself and others for a healthy New Year practice?
Compassion is defined as, “sympathetic pity and concern for the sufferings or misfortunes of others” (Miriam Webster).
I often hear people talk about their compassion as a duty. They feel obliged to suffer with another person. One problem with this definition of compassion is that it naturally creates fatigue for the one carrying another person’s load. But what a difference it would be if you felt like you got to participate from a place of concern in another person’s difficulty in life instead of having to sympathize by suffering alongside the other person.
When healthy kindness and compassion are exchanged for pity and kindliness, (pity) can create complications since joining with another person often includes feeling the other person’s sorrowful feelings. This often leads to walking along the same path together but does not necessarily lead to any successful traction toward a better life for either party.
As a life coach, I want to encourage the practice of cultivating self-compassion. Give this gift to ourselves and others. Let’s arrive at a better place long-term instead of just walking in the muck together and bringing each other down as we partake in life together.
It is possible to partner with another person out of compassion, and true kindness but with mercy towards ourselves. To do so we must:
See compassion as the gift of being able to empathize with the other person, (without being caught up in that person’s misfortunes.)
Reframe compassion in a true way.
Look at every person’s “problem” as a potential mutual gift to us and them. A gift where we can share generosity for ourselves and others – showering lots of goodwill on the journey.
Practice mindfulness without wallowing in another person’s problems.
See ourselves as a part of the community of humanity. Be on team humanity. You are the manager of your own life and emotional healing.
My questions for the next 2 weeks are: If we could change our perspective on practicing compassion towards ourselves and others could we become more kind and generous people and affect our positive outcomes?
And if we became more compassionate/merciful towards ourselves and others how might our world be positively affected?
Write a comment and let me know what you think!
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Coaching 2024 – New Year, New You. Healthy Boundaries cut down on depression.